I'm currently in Sonoma on a travel job and will be missing Friday Date Night with my husband this week, which now has inspired today's post! I was trying to think about what I'd suggest where to go, what to do, or what to eat, but honestly, something even better came to mind. Some of the ladies in my life suggested that I read the book, "Pussy: A Reclamation," and it has been nothing short of eye-opening and life-changing. (And, for the record, Connie now loves the book so much that her Xmas present to me is a trip to meet the author! More on that later). One thing that really stuck out to me in the book was how important it is to remain connected to yourself and to romance you! Whether you may be partnered up or not, it is so important to take yourself on a date! Why? Because it can increase your happiness, improve your quality of life, invite more playtime in your adult life, and inspire your heart, mind, body and soul. I'd say these are pretty legit reasons to do it! Here are some suggestions based on what I've learned in the book as well as things I just do on my own:
Think about all the activities you enjoy doing and write them down.
Whether it's stargazing, reading, cooking, or my personal favorite, getting a massage, nothing is off limits! When we are busy in our lives, we sometimes take last place on our list of priorities. This is totally normal, but it doesn't have to be "the norm." For those of us that don't often take a break, creating this list might be quite difficult. I've definitely pondered a "What DO I like" question the first time I did this. However, let this be a gentle reminder that there is more to enjoy outside of family, work, or other obligations. Get to know you, for you!
Pretend you're inviting guests over (except your guest is you).
What would you do? Would you tidy up the house? Would you buy the best wine and make a beautiful spread? Would you buy fresh flowers? What would you cook? These are all things that you should consider when planning your date night. Treating your house like a sacred space and preparing it for yourself will make all the difference at the end of your day. I recently redecorated my living room and it is now my favorite place to relax when I come home.
Pick foods that aren't practical. Have a #treatyoself moment! Get romanticals with some chocolate-covered strawberries or an expensive wine (or 2 buck chuck). Whatever it may be, remember to slow down and reaaaally, really taste it. Being a busy girl-on-the-go usually means eating on-the-go as well. Like a crocodile you just nom a few times but mostly just swallow things like a pill. When was the last time your savored something? Try it. Try indulging in the moment and not rushing through all the flavors. Let a piece of chocolate just melt in your mouth while soaking in a bubble bath. You'll be surprised at how much euphoria you'll experience in such simple pleasures.
Be a rebel.
Sing at the top of your lungs. Dance totally naked. Make prank calls.... I dunno! lol Just do something that lets out all of your inhibitions. It's important to witness yourself in your rawest form and appreciate your personal quirks. Laugh at yourself for the crazy things you can come up with! It's so key in keeping yourself grounded.
Dress up for your inner goddess.
Wear something that makes you feel amazing, confident, and beautiful. Invest in an evening gown, silky robe, sexy lingerie...It can be anything! Then catwalk around the house blasting "your" song. Empower yourself by doing it in front of the mirror and then disrobing there too. Your body is your temple. Adorn it!
There are a million other ways to celebrate you, but these are just a few things you can do to start a friday date night with yourself. I've been doing my own date nights for the past few months and I can say with 100% certainty that it makes such a difference in my life and even in my marriage. The more I'm able to get to know myself and appreciate my own needs and desires, the more I can show up for others. It seems like such a no-brainer, but it often is hard to put yourself first. I used to make excuses that I didn't have time, but now that I know it's value in enriching my life, I make time for it without guilt or regret. So go plan your own friday date night and let us know what you did!
Soma & Ulte